Questions You Should NEVER Ask
Have you ever asked someone a question and regretted even bringing it up in the same second? Or have you been in a situation where someone asked you a question that you would never ask anyone? Questions are asked for all kinds of reasons, so you might say you would ask a question out of sheer curiosity, and that may be. But if you ask a question, you also want to clarify something, something that is unclear because it seems unusual, and that's where the problem starts. If someone classifies something as unusual, they have already made a judgment about it. A judgment that, in the worst case, can lead to discord and disputes. In this article, you'll learn ten questions you should never ask.
1. Don't you know this behavior is bad for you?
Often this question is asked of pregnant women, smokers and overweight people. But what other people do with their bodies and their lives has nothing to do with you and is none of your business. In most cases, the answer to this question should be: "Yes, I know, but I do it anyway". What do you want to achieve with this question? You won't change anything with your question, it only leads to discord and you yourself have certainly done things in your life that you knew were not good for you.
2. Why aren't you losing or gaining weight?
It's never wise to ask someone questions about their appearance. The person you're asking this question probably knows himself or herself that he or she should lose or gain weight. Maybe he or she is already working on it. If you also point this out with your question, you are not helping with the weight change, but only damaging the self-esteem of the person in question.
3. Why haven't you gotten married yet?
The person you are asking this question is statistically at least 30 years old or older. She may have been married before and perhaps divorced in the meantime. In this case, you can put your foot in your mouth by asking this question. You are also showing that you think it’s standard for a person to get married at some point in their life. However, keep in mind that there are people who are very critical of the institution of marriage and don't want to get married at all. This can be the case for a variety of reasons. You might expose worldviews that clash.
4. Why are you single?
There is no way to ask this question without showing that being single is an abnormal state in your opinion. The question you are actually asking with these words is, "What has gone wrong in your life so far that you don't have a partner?" The person being asked can hardly answer the question normally either. The answer or explanation will come across as either arrogant, desperate or insecure.
5. Do you believe in God?
Whether a person believes in God and in which God is a very personal matter. Also, what do you want to accomplish with an answer? Discuss the Bible? Whether your fellow man is religious, atheist, or agnostic, it's not a good idea to ask directly about personal belief. It's different if the topic comes up during the conversation. In addition, it can be very difficult if you and the person in question have a very opposite view on this issue.
6. Why can't you afford it?
So you think the person in question should be able to afford it? It's an arrogant question that shows your judgment quite openly. You’re saying you think he or she made a wrong decision because the money was spent on other things and not this particular thing. You may also think he or she is not trying hard enough.
7. Why didn't you go to college or why did you drop out of college?
Unless you are the future employer of the person you are talking to, it is better not to ask this question. If you ask why a person did not start studying or did not finish their studies, your question may come across as condescending. Especially if you have a degree yourself. A degree is often seen as synonymous with a career. You are showing the person to whom you asked this question that you think you are smarter than they are, that you made a better decision or you are more disciplined.
8. Why don't you live in a better house or in a nicer neighborhood?
If you ask this question when you are visiting someone, you can be pretty sure that you will never be invited back. By asking this question, you are showing very openly that you don't like the house or the area and you live in a better area and your home is considered nicer.
9. Are you pregnant?
Either the answer is so clear that it's more of a rhetorical question and you can just leave it out or, if you're really not sure, you should keep it to yourself. The person being asked may simply be overweight, in which case your question is simply an insult. The worst case is when the woman wants to get pregnant but isn’t and you ask her this question.
10. How much does your house, your car, your sunglasses cost, or what’s the rent of your apartment?
Many people don't like to talk about money and not everyone likes to give information about how much they paid for things. It doesn't matter if it was a bargain or not. It also creates a divide between owning and not owning and can create a sense of envy and competition. If you're really curious because you want to move, maybe to that particular area, it's best to phrase the question more generally. For example, if you ask how much rents cost in the area, the respondent can still decide whether to answer your question directly or evasively. For other things, you can find out for yourself how much the purchase cost, rather than asking your interlocutor. If you want to know how much their new car cost, do some research and find out for yourself. In this case, asking for the model is much more inconspicuous.
Today’s Conclusion:
Questions you ask someone reveal a lot about you. They may even reveal more about your thinking and worldview. The ten questions we just presented to you may seem harmless at first glance. There's always a chance in a conversation that the topic will come up and you'll learn what you want to know without having to ask the question directly. That's it for today.